Ah, happiness. We all want it, but how do we really get it? How do we feel like we are being true to ourselves while going through the motions of daily life? What is happiness even? Where does happiness come from?
I learned a very long time ago that happiness comes from within. It does not come from anyone else or any material thing. It starts within you and grows from there. If you are looking to someone else to make you happy, you will get burned. Looking to someone else for your own happiness won’t make you happy. It’ll do the opposite in fact. You will be so let down time and time again and will be really disappointed.
And that’s because happiness truly starts from within. We have to love ourselves first before we can even try to make anyone else happy. We have to know the person we are and be our true self. After all, your most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
Let me just say that again so it can sink in .. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
While it sounds easy enough to do, it’s anything but and that’s because life throws us curve balls at times and we succumb to all of the other things we need to do before putting ourselves first. This past year was crazy for me, complete with a lot of changes. Perhaps the biggest change I went through was getting divorced. There’s so much feeling that goes along with that decision and the aftermath and it’s just really easy to lose yourself in it all.
And looking back, I realize now how I shut down in so many ways. As they say though, “Hindsight is 20/20” and I truly believe that I’m getting myself back, albeit little by little.
10 Happiness Hacks to Feel Like Your Winning Life
- You Do You, Boo.
First off, I actually don’t talk like that, but it is so true and made me laugh as my hands were typing those words! But y’all: Be your true self. Be authentic. Learn to say “no”. Stop trying to please everyone and start putting yourself first.
- Embrace Change.
Change is hard. It’s scary and unknown, but it’s also the reason people become really great. They feel that fear and do it anyways. They know that in order to be a better person (whatever areas that looks like), they have to do something different. Learn to see change in a different light and embrace all of the beauty that comes from it.
- Leave the Past in the Past.
What a hard one this is because our minds are these wonderful things that can sometimes get out of control with our thinking. We have to learn to forgive and let the past stay in the past. Forgiveness is hard, but imperative in order to achieve happiness. We can’t possibly move on when we are stuck thinking and reliving things in the past that we have no control over anymore.
- You are in Control.
Repeat that. YOU are in control of your life. No one else. Just wonderful you. If you feel something, go with your gut. There’s no need to waste time overthinking and analyzing every little thing. Make a decision based on what you want your life to look like and go for it. Always.
- Being Different is Beautiful.
The mom in me is about to come out now… Can you imagine if we were all the same? All the same looks? The same thoughts? The same mannerisms? The same house? Talk about boring! Don’t be afraid to be different; learn to love it! It’s perfectly fine if your kid doesn’t make straight A’s, just as it’s perfectly fine if your kid does. We have to stop trying to fit into this mold of what is “safe” and just go for the person we are, embracing every bit of the way.
- No Need to Sacrifice.
We have to learn to stop sacrificing our own happiness for others. This goes hand-in-hand with learning to stick up for ourselves and saying “no” when we just don’t have the extra time. It’s so easy to get pulled in a million different directions before realizing that we haven’t even had 5-minutes to ourselves. You don’t have to be the sacrificial lamb. You won’t get a medal for saying “yes” to everyone and everything that’s asked of you. Prioritize what’s important and go from there.
- Love Yourself.
I know, I know, so much easier said than done, but hear me out for a few, okay? As I mentioned earlier, our most important relationship is the one that we have with ourselves. When that relationship has a lot of love and respect, we are better moms, wives, sisters, friends… just better people all together! And that 100% stems from the fact that we are fulfilled on the inside and are able to give and receive love. Love your body. Love what you are capable of doing. Love the person you are. Just fall in love with yourself and your other relationships will blossom from there.
Do you know why you were put on this Earth? Do you live your day with purpose or do you just go through the motions? Finding our purpose is a tough one, as it’s definitely not so black and white, but it is so very important. Without purpose, you aren’t working towards anything. With purpose you are and your cup will be filled on a daily basis. If you haven’t found your purpose in life, start with sitting down with a journal and writing about what you would do if you didn’t have to worry about fear, change, money, etc. Start digging in to the person you are and working from there to find out what really makes you tick.
Before going to bed each night, think about the next day. Think about how you want your mood to be and what action items you need to get done. Write down your to-do list and prioritize in order of importance. This will help you to stay focused and to also be able to check off the items that need to get done.
- Always Grow and Evolve.
Be open to learning new things, reading new books, listening to podcasts, and just overall growing. Growing will help you to evolve into the person you want to become. Staying stagnant will do just that… You will stay in the same place. Look for ways to grow and change and embrace it. After all, your happiness depends on it!