Once upon a time there was a girl who focused on all of the wrong things. She wasn’t thin enough. She wasn’t pretty enough. She didn’t have the right shoes/handbag/jewelry. She didn’t like to go against the grain, so to speak. She dreaded when she was asked her opinion on something because she didn’t want to say the wrong thing. She never felt like herself because she was always trying to be someone else.
And y’all, that’s a really hard way to live your life. I’m sure there’s no surprise, but that girl was me.
I constantly compared myself to other girls and focused on every single one of my flaws. (Hello, semi-droopy right eye, I’m talking to you.) My self-esteem and self-worth was nonexistent and I was content to just be in the background. Content, not happy.
Sure I had an idea of the person that I wanted to be and somehow hoped I’d magically turn into overnight, but we all know that doesn’t happen. I had an eating disorder and that didn’t help things because I was stuck in a vicious cycle that wouldn’t stop repeating. I’d feel bad about myself for whatever reason, go home, and eat a ton of food to escape. While the initial seconds seemed to let me escape away to a different place, that quickly faded and then I became even more disgusted with myself. Seriously, it’s a vicious cycle that’s on autopilot.
Fast-forward a bit and I went to therapy, worked out my issues, recovered from my eating disorder (and actually help people now, by the way), and realized that I’m a pretty awesome person. I don’t have to compare myself to anyone because I’m not in competition with them. I only have to worry about myself and be the very best me that I can be. When you start throwing in other people, it gets too complicated. There’s always going to be someone prettier, smarter, fitter, etc than you… and that’s okay.
You know, I’ve come a long way. I like the person that I am. If I see an attractive girl at the mall, I can appreciate it and don’t let it get me down like it used to. If there’s someone smarter than me, I don’t feel like I have nothing to add to the conversation. I can carry on a conversation just being me. If there’s someone more successful in his or her business than I am, that’s okay too.
And this was a hard lesson for me to learn because I’ve never actually worked for something so hard as I’m working now with Younique.
Really, I haven’t and I know that sounds kind of lame, but it’s true. I’ve always just skated by and done the minimum of what I’ve had to do (well besides being a mom and wife) because I was scared to death to fail. You see, I never saw myself being anything more than a stay at a home mom. And to be quite honest, before I even had a child, I was pretty content to let my husband take care of me, money-wise.
Now, I’m the complete opposite of that girl.
I can’t wait for the day to come where I make more than my husband did that month. I can’t wait to feel how amazing that’s going to feel. And not because I’ll think I’m better than him, because, again, that’s not what it’s about. It’s about doing something for me. Feeling deserving enough to earn a lot of money and be successful. Feeling proud that I worked my ass off and it paid off. Most importantly, sticking with something, giving it my all, and knowing that I did not give up when it didn’t come fast enough or if obstacles got in my way.
Take a minute and listen to the words of this song (or sing along if you already know them!):
So stop comparing yourself. Be who you are. Set up a competition with yourself. Go after your dreams and goals. If someone doesn’t like you, who cares. Seriously. Out of millions of people in the world, you cannot be friends with everyone. It’s just not possible. And don’t you want to live your life with friends that you truly enjoy instead of being friends with someone that you don’t? Stop being so hard on yourself. It’s okay that you aren’t a size 2. It’s okay if your life isn’t perfect. It’s okay that you don’t have a designer handbag or drive a fancy car.
When you start accepting yourself for the person you are, things will start changing. You will live your life in a much different way and your life will just be easier. You don’t have to play a part anymore; you can be yourself and know that you’re the best you possible.
So here’s a little about me:
1. I wear a size 8. I’d love to be a size 4-6 again, but I also really like drinking wine and going out to dinner.
2. I have one eye that’s droopier than the other.
3. I don’t sleep with my arms crossed if I’m lying down because it reminds me of someone lying in a casket.
4. I love Halloween, but don’t like scary movies.
5. I love cheesy Pop/Top 40 music. A lot. And I drive around in my car singing and dancing without caring what anyone thinks.
6. I am a great mom. I strive daily to be better and sometimes it’s a struggle, but overall, I’m doing a good job.
7. I don’t care about designer handbags and I don’t like anything with a logo on it.
8. I have a Target obsession.
9. I am currently a Blue status presenter in Younique and have been just shy of hitting green for 3 months now, but I won’t spend money to make it happen.
10. I had an eating disorder, recovered from said eating disorder, and now help people overcome their eating disorders, which is pretty cool to see it come full circle.
11. I ran a half-marathon once and don’t have a desire to ever run a full-marathon.
12. I still really like reality TV, especially Ladies of London, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and Teen Mom. (Totally embarrassing, right?)
13. I like to think I can cook, but really it’s the atmosphere that I like: Drinking wine, listening to Frank Sinatra, and making the same grilled chicken and veggies. Ha, ha!
14. I was a vegetarian for 3 years and think about going back from time to time.
15. Although I weigh myself just about daily, I do not think the number on the scale means anything. I’m just weird and like to know my weight.
16. I love, love, love high heels. The higher, the better. That being said, I complain just about the whole time I’m wearing them because heels hurt my feet.
17. My dream is to make a lot of money and open an animal shelter for abuse, neglected, and puppy mill animals.
18. I wear contacts and would love to have Lasik but am too scared to go through with it.
19. I love being from Texas and think it’s the best place on Earth.
20. I love even numbers. I won’t set the a/c in my car on an odd number ever or end this list with an odd number.
21. I wash my hair in the bathtub at times because I am not a fan of showers.
22. I am crazy about flossing my teeth and do it at least twice a day.
Hope you enjoyed reading this and I hope I inspired you to be a little bit more true to yourself. Don’t compare yourself; enjoy the things that make you different. It doesn’t make you less than; it makes you YOU.